The primary purpose of church disfellowship is to lead an erring member to remorse and restoration, requiring full cooperation from the entire congregation.
* Common Secular Cutting-Off: Parents frequently alienate children for personal reasons. Why therefore won’t they alienate children who have strayed from the Lord? Is it no big deal?
* Secular Reasons: Dropouts, family “black sheep,” or marrying the wrong person. Alienation or ‘disfellowship’ happens all the time in families.
* The Spiritual Dilemma: Will parents disfellowship a child who strays like the prodigal son? If not, why not? Is the spiritual condition not as important?
* The Prodigal Child: One who leaves behind the Lord who washed and sanctified them. Hebrews 6:4-6 describes one who formerly was saved but is now living a life of sin. The father waits with open arms only if the son is repentant.
* The Core Question: Will you join the church action if your child is disciplined? This discipline is most effective if the people closest are participating.
* The Alternative: Will you continue giving that person the exact same fellowship? The Bible doesn’t say, family and close friends to the apostate are exempted.
* The Unresolved Question: Can you explain why family members are exempt from church discipline?
* The Excuses are many: Hypotheticals are raised. The “what about” questions are brought up. The personal costs such as losing contact with grandchildren is brought up.
## The Biblical Mandate for Church Discipline
* Not Optional: Discipline is a necessary church-wide action, not an individual choice.
* Matthew 18:15ff: Outlines how the church must address an erring brother or sister.
* Matthew 18:17: “And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
* Progressive Steps: Approach privately, use church encouragement, then remove if they refuse to listen.
* 1 Corinthians 5: Paul commands the church not to even eat with such a person.
* 2 Corinthians 2: Proper correction causes remorse and a longing to be accepted back.
* 1 Timothy 5:20: “Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.”
* 2 Thessalonians 3:14: “If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame.”
* Ephesians 5:11: “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.”
## Handling False Teachers
* The Church Goal: Follow the Bible, teach the Gospel, and live by its precepts.
* Initial Response: Teach the truth to false teachers in hopes of making a correction.
* Final Action: Put the person out of the church if they remain obstinate.
## The Parallel Crisis in Parental Discipline
* The Current State: A major discipline problem exists inside modern homes.
* Parental Failures: Parents placate, get exasperated, and talk without changing behavior.
* Ineffective Discipline: Talking without changing behavior is not true discipline.
* Reinforcing Bad Behavior: Failing to effect change only reinforces the negative actions.
* Proverbs 13:24: “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
* Painful Consequences: If opposed to a wooden spoon, you must find another painful way to correct.
* The Skateboard Example: Cutting a disobedient son’s skateboard in half in the garage. This degree of punishment was to set the example to a son that willful disobedience is completely unacceptable. The majority of parents won’t do what is needed to bring repentance or remorse.
* The Lesson Learned: Disobedience has painful consequences; prized possessions can be taken. When it comes to church discipline, the “prized possession” is the fellowship with friends and family in the church.
* The Parental Deficit: Most parents are unwilling to take things away to teach a lesson.
* The Church Parallel: Members similarly view church disfellowship as too harsh and unloving. If you read the text, you see that it is designed to be harsh. In 1 Corinthians 5, the man was put out of the church and 2 Corinthians 2 shows that the corrective action had the intended purpose of bringing the man to repentance. The church then was instructed to welcome the brother with open arms.
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