John Rosemond said, “Want to know how to grow ungrateful children: give them a lot.”
Rosemond is an expert on parenting. But an even better source to turn to on parenting is the Bible. The Bible says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” Pro 29:15.
How many times have you heard parents lamenting over their children getting into trouble and the parents tell how they did everything for their children?
If you want your children to grow up to be hedonistic losers, expect nothing of them but give them every toy and fine thing they yell and scream for.
The absence of fathers is a big part of the problem today. With vast numbers of children being raised in single parent homes, the children are lacking half of the attention, half of the love, half of the direction that fathers bring to the family. It’s a tragedy that churches are not teaching Matthew 19:9 and 5:32 because too many “christians” are divorcing without God’s approval. And no, God doesn’t care about your happiness as much as He cares about the security of the children and the stability that generations of intact homes create.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4.
“Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline, But he who regards reproof will be honored.” Pro. 13:18.
“He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Pro. 13:24
The Bible says to discipline your children. That does not mean screaming, bargaining, and hang-wringing. Want to know what discipline is? It is exerting the right amount of pressure on your children to get them to change their actions AND their attitudes. If the child does not change, the parent did not exert enough pressure. Try again.
I do not recommend that parents bargain with their children. You are the adults and you should know better. The kids deserve to have love and a safe, godly environment to grow up in. But they do not set the parameters of what is right conduct. When they do well, give them praise. And when they cross your boundaries, discipline them according to what I said above: to effect a change.