Reading the words of Judas “I have sinned against innocent blood” makes me think about my own life. Judas said these words as he tried to return the 30 pieces of silver and to possibly undo the wrong done. Some people sin and mock; some hide and destroy themselves; and some turn to God.
It says Judas “felt remorse” in the NASB for what he had done . The KJV says “he repented himself”. I think about the kind of repentance or remorse this was because we know the deep grief he was growing through, but was it right? Apparently not because he did not return to follow Christ as did Peter and others who scattered in the heat of the night. The Scriptures say that he threw the thirty pieces of silver into the temple and he hanged himself. It doesn’t appear that the remorse Judas felt was the godly type. Paul wrote, “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.” (2 Cor. 7:10). Judas’ sorrow did not produce a repentance without regret. He did not pick himself and confess to God. He did not come before the cross and look into Jesus’ eyes and ask for forgiveness. He did not do anything but give up. He hanged himself and quit the service to God. Whatever it was that Judas felt, it was not true repentance. He knew he had sinned, but he did not change.
This event also makes me think about the reaction of the priests and elders. Their pivotal witness and aid against Jesus had just recanted and it didn’t matter to them. They didn’t say, “Our case is falling apart.” Nope, not much stops the wheels of injustice that were already seeking out their next false witness against Christ. The truth did not matter to them. All that mattered was at all costs hanging on to their positions.
Reading about Judas causes me to stop and reflect again on my own sinfulness and how I respond to Christ. Do I betray Him? Do I love silver and gold enough to turn from Him? Has mine been a “godly sorrow without regret” or only a “sorrow of the world that produces death”? Or do I respond like Peter who denied Jesus but then became a great servant in the Kingdom of Christ? There is something to learn from the Judas’s of the world.
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